Asian Stereotyp

Next week I'm going to start studies with my classmates of which many come from Asia as it is an international subject of studies. I have one whole week of introduction and I received a schedule for it. Monday is for everybody same, just explanation of school and facilities then the other four days are split into a "culture and integration" course and the other half is defined as a German course for beginners. I hope I won’t need to attend either of both. Surely the lecturers will convince us Swiss students during that introduction week to spend some time with our classmates from abroad as they have no friends here yet and nobody who could show them around and as I am such an open person I'll help them to get everything to know here.

If you are following my blog since the days I went to Australia you know how much fun I can have analysing Asians. How couldn’t you have fun with them, they’re so funny and so sweet, they laugh at everything you say even if it’s not funny just to no offend you and the most important reason: They are addicted to Karaoke!

Thinking about Asians last days, it came to my mind how much they like to take pictures with cameras that are 3 generations further than ours (Hope they won’t laugh at mine). I watched some of my pictures with my Asian mates in Surfers Paradise and noticed that they have always the same pose. I’m sure you know what pose it is.. right they show in every single picture that “Victory”-, “Peace”-, ”V”- or “whatever you call it”-sign.

 

Here are some examples of that pose:

Classic

Multitasking

Big sign goes small

a normal day at school... whatever that guy in the background is doing..

May I introduce you to the Asian Justin Bieber

Advanced skills in Multitasking

OMG that is sooo cool! still laughing my ass out =)

I will definitely have fun with 'em! =)

Cheers

How to surf when there is no sea

What up fellas?

Those of you who I call friends know that I'm workin now at an IT-firm the others of you (let's call you groupies) have no idea because I haven't write it yet.

After I succeeded school with a top mark I started to work here and the wanted to keep me during my studies which will start in about 3 weeks - Yes I'm going to study International Management. Anyhow I've been working here for almost 2 months now and it's a good place to work though I don't like working.

What? How comes that I work at an IT-firm though I have no technical experiences? I have no idea! No it's not a try to boast around I think I just convinced my boss at the job interview.

What I am doing here? Please.

Now I thought instead of reading instruction in the internet how to build bombs, I thought let's fresh up my English a little to get back into it before studies. And because I only write nonsense in my blog, I will tell you something about my new summer passion: Wakeboarding.

As you know I did a little surfing, when I was in Australia, I was not that good because I didn't practise often. 2 weeks ago it started to be veery hot in Switzerland so I thought let's catch up something you can do in the water and as I already went once wakeboarding I decided to go again. On my way to that lake on which they had this water-ski-lift I decided to go to Murten which is a city at another lake, because there I knew a wakeboard shop. I don't know why I had chosen to go there (it was like a deep power in my unconsciousness) but I thought "hey it's on our way, why not". So we went to that shop which is called "dirtys" - No it's not a stripclub. I watched the boards and I talked with the shop owner and told him that I was looking for a board, so he showed me his new collection, but the problem was that they were quite expensive. I asked him if it's possible to try one out as I was anyway on my way to go wakeboarding and surprisingly he said "sure". So he gave me that new beautiful 'Ronix Phoenix Project 2012' it has only once been tested by him. Proudly I went to that other lake and felt like a pro. As I wanted to start I fell immediately - so embarrassing! I did another try and I fell again and a third time. Finally I stood at the 4th trial and I got back into it very quickly. I had told the shop owner that I would bring it the other day (sunday) but I thought "hey let's go again before I give it back, I won't have this possibility again. So I went to that lake the second day too and I was much better. I also tried to switch sides and stuff but I always fell when I tried to do more than surfing forward. So I gave it back to him and I was just about to buy it but he wanted too much for it.

The other week I went to Germany to wakeboard and there was that shop with that huge collection of gear and equipment and they had that summer sale which means we got everything with discount. I tested another board but I realized very soon, that the one from last week was better and they had 2 of them too (both in my size). I have chosen the white one and my friend (a wakeboard Pro too) took the same one in green. We took some bindings, a vest and a helmet too and then we were broke. We spent that whole day at the lake and the next day we spent at the lake in Switzerland and everybody watched us, because we looked like professionals. We even became better and better, I don't know if it was the equipment or not. Yesterday I took the afternoon off to go to the lake and I did my first jumps off the ramp and in + out of 3 trials I stood! I tried a Jumpstart from a height of 250 cm and at the second time I stood. I did a big step yesterday and soon I would like to go to a competition - Yeah of course..

I would highly recommend everybody to try it out. Even my girlfriend tried although it was very funny to watch, she had fun!

And if you want to see some pictures which were shot with my new camera (OMG I haven't told you yet!) just visit my facebook profile.

Cheers

No name comes to my mind for this post but it's as awesome as the others, I swear!

"Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, I'd like to welcome you aboard of the flight FX903 from Zürich nonstop to Barcelona my name is RDee, I'm your captain for this flight (...)"


It's been a while since I've said those words and honestly I'm missing it a little. Whaaat? You did not know that I used to be a pilot? I did but I never bragged with it. 
reveling in memories I was thinking about the best aspects of this job and it's definitely, when the flight attendant comes into the cockpit and brings you coffee. I don't know why, but they always stare at you like you were the only men on earth or so when bringing a cup. Surprisingly I have never met a pilot who didn't like it. I think it's a job requirement to not being into somebody but a pilot.


It's a phenomenon anyway that so many girls would like to become a flight attendant (by the way does anybody of you know why we can't say stewardess anymore? I loved that word.. stewardess, stewardess.. hmm).
Out of my female friends there are 5 wanting to become, are becoming or were flight attendant and 771 (as many as I've got on Facebook) who have considered it, yes including boys..
But did you guys know, that they are way underpaid? I mean they receive nothing for what they do and that's why no girl stays in this job. This is exactly what the big companies are wanting. They want only to employ young attractive women as long as they stay young and attractive, then they stay only for a short time until find out, that they have been deceived and then they resign. Surprisingly there is another girl already waiting. A friend of mine told me ones how many girls attended the information evening.. hundreds!
They attract you with seeing the whole world and the most interesting cities, staying at the best hotels and learn languages so quickly. 


Okay I confess, I used to be a flight attendant and not a pilot and it was me who looked at him like there is no other for me on the ground (or here in air).


Cheers

about Gremlins and toothbrushs

'sup fellas!

First of all, do not judge me for not having written for ages - I feel guilty too.

It's pretty clear why I haven't written.. the world just became boring.

However now I have a topic to talk about and I'm sure you will recognize your self while reading it.

It's about when somebody is in a relationship. Yeah I know it's always the same but always different. I don't think that you could just say: "We're NOW in a relationship" and from then on everything changes and after months you notice that actually nothing has changed (I'm pretty sure that sounds weird to you). Let me say it this way, I hate it when a couple has anniversary, because I don't think that you can define a relationship from a date on. It's a period or even a process until you get to the target (which is in most cases today to change the relationship status on facebook).

A Friend of mine, let's call him Barney Stinson, told me once the rules for having a girlfriend.

He said: "Ardi, (believe it or not) you know you're in a relationship, when you violated 3 simple rules and those rules are the same as for Gremlins:

1. Never feed them after midnight

(Which means, never eat breakfast with her)

2. Never let them see sunlight

(Which means, never let them sleep at your place)

3. Never let them get wet

(Which means, never let them take a shower at your place)

It's very superficial, but think about it. That makes totally sense!

Knowing that I broke all those rules last weeks, I still don't think that I'm in a relationship (most psychologists would call it relationship anxiety and honestly so do I), so I created a new indicator the "Toothbrush variable" (Doesn't it sound like a new episode of "the big bang theory"?! and actually I proposed them by email to use it).


It's very simple: If you have a static toothbrush in her bathroom or she has in yours, it's obvious that you're together. If you break that rule as well it's clear but if you still say that you're still not in a relationship then it just needs some more time or that girl forced you to do all that stuff. I wanted to relate that in some way to Gremlins too, but I've never seen them brushing their teeth - though they have really white ones.


So if you ever worry again if you have a girlfriend or not, just go over those rules and if yes  share it with all your friends on twitter and think about kitschy names you could give your girlfriend and become a sissy (that's my new fav word).


Oh and by the way, Happy New Year!


Cheers

4 all my Clerks

Yesterday I found out, that there are a lot of people which are so hell bored, that they used to read my blog during office times. I thinks it's really a pity but on the other hand it's a great feeling to know, that clerks are payed to read my blog.


So this post is for all those who are to lazy to work or as they would call it "work a lot, but there is not enough work". 


Allright I explain you guys now the situation. Probably most of you would like to know, how the hell I broke my nose. Well it's a pretty long story.. Oh yeah, I forgot that you guys have enough time..


about a month ago, I was on a roller coaster not just  any one, it was a huge one.
That day I didn't feel very good because of muscle ache i had from the day before by weight lifting. So I went on the "extreme-cobra-killer-ultimate-machine-shaker-8000" (yeah, that was surely it's name), I didn't feel pretty comfortable 'cause I had one of those bad feelings like in final destination, except that I didn't stop anybody by entering the coaster.


On the coaster it shook me from one side on the other and suddenly the coaster started to lift off the rails and I knew I have to do something before we fall 289 meters (!) to the ground. All the people on the coaster screamed so loud, that I couldn't think or react, it was a noise like in one of those horror movies where the blond, dolly girl runs away from the killer knowing that she has no chance to escape. I saw that the people on the ground looked shocked and feared maybe from their point of view it looked much worse, actually from our point it didn't look better. Then I ripped my security belt off the seat, cling on the side that was lifting and started to hope that my weight was enough to get the coaster back to the rails.. it wasn't. So as the coaster was just about to turn, I took the rail in the same time and started to pull the coaster down. Now it's really necessary to repeat, that I really had a bad muscle ache. Anyway it seemed to work and the coaster got back to the rails, it was a little miracle. I don't know where this strength came from, maybe it was inside me, waiting to be unleashed. 


After another 4 rounds on the coaster (we already paid for it), we got back on the ground. It was a great experience seeing all those families hugging and coming together, others who were calling the boy- or girlfriend telling with tears what happened, policemen and paramedics running around and helping people to overcome the shock and last but not least the drunk guys who couldn't stop to vomit, after this hell of a ride.
Then I saw a firefighter looking at me and starting to clap, more and more people clapped until , as I thought, the whole adventure park was clapping. People came and shook my hand, knowing that I just saved the life of their families, girls came and kissed my cheek (I didn't blush, because it was self-evident, what I did) surprisingly even the mayor was there with a horde of photographers and journalists, congratulating me. 


And then this firefighter came over in slow motion, in the background I heard this epic sound and I just watched this guy and he winked at me. Then he rose his hand and said "Hi5", I wanted to raise mine as well, but I couldn't. After that maltreatment of my body, my muscle didn't listen to me anymore and because this firefighter was still walking in slow motion, he couldn't react fast enough, so he Hi5ed me in the middle of my face and that's the story how I broke my nose.


expect of the last part it was one of my best days ever.


This post was dedicated to Denise, my greatest fan of all my clerks out there. have fun ;)


Cheers

Reunion Party & Complications

I laughed my ass out this week, as I received a mail from Joel a.k.a "Sigi Al Jazeeri". 
It was about a "meet-your-aussie-schoolmate/I-know-what-you-did-last-winter-party", because most of the people who were with us Aussie-mania are back in country.

Just imagine this, I'm here since more than 3 months and they maybe just got back.. assholes!
Anyway I got this mail last thursday he wanted to launch the party on saturday..

And because it's so funny let's read it again: "I got this mail last thursday he wanted to launch the party on saturday.." isn't it nice how optimistic or drunk people must be to write such a thing?
And he must have definitely been one of them while he was writing it.


My lovely friends frome Australia oder Brazil won't get it. I'll tell you. If you wana organize something in Switzerland you have to do it at least 1 month before. Even if it's a "come an have some popcorn in my flat" with 2 friends. You don't believe it? let's take a look at the facts..
he invited about 30 people (I'm just guessing) out of them, only 6 said they COULD and out of them probabely just Sigi and a random drunk guy showed up.


Anyway Sigi is a great guy, very initiative to start something like this but you shouldn't COMPLAIN if nobody can come. After that he did a good one he already wrote a new letter with a previous date and an activation. Another suggestion, make a doodle plan with this you always keep the overview and the others as well. 


Before we meet we need to announce some rules, like there aren't enough laws here.. but one there isn't here: "You're allowed to drink on the street" and I know how much you like this one.

Lets call theese Rules > Doofy Rules! why? why not!


Doofy Rules:
1. Every participant must bring at least 8 pictures for each week he spent there on a USB stick or Laptop.
2. Every participant must speak about 2 situations he had over there and won't ever forget it.
3. Everybody who was in Australia is a Participant.
4. Everybody who won't show up is gay
5. Every participant must wear 1 personal garment which he/she had with him/her in Australia (to recognize the others) (what's a garment? > Google Transaltor > a "Clothing Piece" e.g. T-shirt, Skirt, Flipflops etc.
6. The Organizer (Al Jazeeri, Sigi) is committed to send every Participant a manual for "Ring of Fire"
7. Every participant is obligated to learn the Doofy Rules, the Ring of fire Rules and the security rules for the Swiss Asault Rifle
8. Every participant will attend a Test about every rule, only who passes will be let to the party.
9. Every participant will have to sign a form, in which he asserts that the Organizer (Al Jazeeri, Sigi) is a alwayls complaining human being.
10. Every participant has to bring his own camera and sunglasses (even if it's dark) to show his/her tourist status.
11. Everybody who's reading this is hell bored.


I will definitely be there and I'm really looking forward to see your paled faces and having fun with you like in old days.
I have to say, I really miss all of you and if I don't remember your name just don't take it personal..


By the way, rule number 12:
12. Every participant has to wear a sign on the chest with his name on it, visible for the other participants.


See you there


Cheers

My Secret Plan

Have you guys ever considered that there is more than waiting for weekend when you can start to drink and leave your passed week behind you. I mean, it seems like the human being is living just for these 2 days of a week. What about the other 5? Most people hate them, because they have either to work or to study during those days? So technically you will enjoy those other days when you don't work or go to school, sounds logical doesn't it?


Almost, what would you do during the week, when all of your friends are having their schedules? You probably could spent some time with training or sleeping but after a while it would become boring, so you need an activity that keeps you busy.
Activities usual cost money, but you don't have any so you need to get some.


You see there are a lot of factors which play a role on your way to happiness, so take a deep breath for the one and only solution, only known by those who fixed all of these problems without working hard for it.
This solution is so simple, that you will say: "Oh my gosh, I should have know".


You just have..


..omg, I'm so exited that I can't even sit, I have to stand up..


.. and now I have to go and grap my laptop because, it's uncomfortable trying to type on my computer while standing..


..and my laptop is just running out of battery so I need to charge it, give me a second..


(Isn't it interesting how everything goes wrong when you're trying to say something important? It's called Murphy's law..)


.. and now I got enough battery to tell you the secret but it's pretty difficult typing with one hand  because the other hand is still holding the laptop so I sit down and you stand up..


and now I'm sitting so the answer is..


You just have to win in Lotto


Really clever isn't it?


Of course you can say it's almost impossible, but you're saying it.. it's ALMOST impossible..


Just imagine, there is a game in Europe called Euro Millions. In which you can win more than 100 millions this is a "one" with 8 "zeroes".


You win in it, so you never have to work anymore, if you're bored you fly somewhere, where it's night just to party, then you go somewhere else for shopping or if it's raining you go there where the sun shines. You could go wake-boarding with your own yacht all day long only because you did it once and you had fun.
Cars will be chosen when they fit with your suit. For 6 millions you could buy Charlie Sheen's Villa where he installed a porno cinema (This guy is so great, I'm so sad he isn't Uncle Ben's anymore.. I mean Charlie.


You could learn all the useless shit you want and you never thought about it, because you didn't have enough money to throw around, like learning how to draw a boat or fly a jet or better, how to drive a hovercraft or one of those languages you start to learn, because you had a crush on a girl from Norway. 
In your own house you don't walk anymore, you use quad bikes to go to toilette. You would own a changing room which is as big as your former flat. 
You would have such a big garden, that you would pay somebody who escorts you, just not to get lost. 
You would procure exotic pets and I'm not talking about rare fishes. No, you would have f**king Free Willy in your pool.


Yeah life is great if you'd only knew the 5 true numbers and 2 stars.


As you said, it's almost impossible, but the fact is, that the highest jackpot ever hit was more than 191 million Euros. That's a "one" and a "nine" and "one".. and some other numbers.


Think about it and when anyone of you wins, do not forget who gave you the idea ;)
Good Luck


Cheers